New Year

As one year winds down and another begins a familiar line of prayer from my youth echoes in my head; “We have left undone those things which we ought to have done, and we have done those things we ought not to have done.” Although it can take on the feeling of guilt I instead see it as a simple statement of fact, a true statement of the human condition. It can be applied to the too much candy I’ve eaten in the last few weeks and the too little fresh vegetables which have left me sick from my trip to New York to see family and friends. Yet it also seems to me a way to clean the slate. Just lay the truth out there and ask for forgiveness so one can try again.

I’m often struck by the word practice and where and how often it crops up. I have my yoga practice and I’m a practicing Christian. In both of these I see why practice works so much better than perfect. And in both I feel what is most important is showing up and trying.

So that’s what I’m going to do with my writing and this blog too. I’m not going to promise what I won’t deliver. I’m certain that I won’t post 365 times but 52 is possible as is somewhere in between those two. And I hope to write something somewhere every day, if it sees the light of day or not—if no one else reads it or not.

Last year at this time I was in India for a yoga retreat and ayurvedic teacher training with Shiva Rea and James Bailey. After that I attended the Yoga Journal Conference and then spent the most intense four months of my life in Laughing Lotus’s teacher training. I feel like in my ways I’m a different person a year later. Every morning I look in the mirror and see a new person. Sure in many ways the changes our subtle and sometimes, somehow sneak up on me. When did that vertical wrinkle over my left eye start? And why can’t I just relax it away? I also see the same twinkle in my eyes that I see in baby photos—same cow lick too.

In many traditions the rebirth of the light is celebrated at this time. In Christianity the birth of Jesus—the light of the world-- is honored. When I was back East I got to spend time with one of my best friends who is currently pregnant. I’m excited about the possibilities literally growing inside her. I also got to see my beloved niece who I hadn’t seen in over two years, actually got to see both of my nieces. (My friend intends to have her baby in the same hospital my niece was born at, as was my other best friend’s baby.) The difference between a 12 year old and 14 year old is startling. I feel sorrow about not having seen her in so long, trying to figure out what has changed and what remains the same.

It is that understanding of what remains the same which comforts me in both my yoga and Christianity, as well as when I look in the mirror. I know that my love of my niece is unwavering. Her presence fills me with a joy I doubt she understands and I’m certain as a teenager she’d have a hard time expressing—I know I did at that age.

One of the things I learned, or relearned, in India is how much of what we take as a given, as reality is just a cultural construct. For example, the concept of a fixed price is a firm reality in many transactions in America and hardly any in India. When the year begins or ends is also just a construct. I started writing this in the end of December and now it is almost the end of the first week of January—either day could be considered the end of the year, as could any day. Which reveals to me that I can try today to do those things left undone (like finishing this post, along with more significant tasks) and I can stop doing other things (which I won’t get into now.) I hope you join me in beginning anew. Eat better, do more yoga, love with an open heart and whatever else calls to you. Find the Divine in 09!